The Way of the Cateye

• Order off the menu – that’s why we have one.
• No Camping if campground (restaurant) is full. Lots of hungry folks to feed. Don’t be surprised if you are asked to leave after you have eaten if we have a line.
• We will gladly substitute nothing for anything, or we might substitute something for something, but we will never substitute something for nothing (no guarantees, ever).
• Ask for water if you want it.
• Being annoying is prohibited (open to our interpretation, staff excluded).
• You will discover we don’t take Discover orAmerican Express (Sorry Jerry Seinfeld).
• We don’t and won’t poach your eggs.
• If you have a fork then you don’t need a spoon to stir your coffee.
• Order all your condiments: salsa, cream, honey, ketchup, etc. when you order the rest of your stuff. All at once, that’s the idea.
• Put your money on the table edge when you are ready to bolt.
• Clean your plate – expect chastisement if you don’t.
• Save room for dessert with ice cream, naturally.
• Expect a smart remark when you ask “What’s good?”
• Finish your coffee.
• No asking for more coffee just because you yacked too long while it got cold.
• Please don’t say, “We’re ready to order now” (unless the service is really bad in which case tell Kev or Tina first thing!)
• We love kids, help us keep it that way. Children will be frisked for Cheerios, if there is a Cheerio party, please pick up after your child.
• If you’re smoking in here you’d better be on fire. Expect extinguishing!
• Don’t even think about drinking and driving or you’re in big trouble with Kev.
• 50 cents off to anyone who wears their own Cateye glasses throughout their entire meal. No lenses required. Add a cowboy hat for 50 more cents.